October 14th, 2019

SPIDER-MAN: A DAY IN THE LIFE (MONDAY MOCK NEWS)

by Edgar

It’s just the start of another day in the life of the famous New York web-slinger. I was lucky enough to beat out the Daily Bugle’s Peter Parker to capture some pictures of the web-head himself and to work on something even better: A story!

But first, some context. It all seemed quiet in town when our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man dropped by (literally) on the roof of our Comics Kingdom offices while I was on my lunch break. Don’t judge me, I really enjoy the NYC skyline breeze while I’m having myself a delicious slice of pizza which, as it turns out, is Spider-Man’s favorite food. “PIZZA TIME,” exclaimed the charismatic wall-crawler as he landed on the roof in classic superhero fashion. In exchange for a few slices, he offered me an inside scoop of his day-to-day life.

“Oh you know…Stopped a mugging on 22nd St on the way here and then I get pumpkin bombs thrown at me by The Hobgoblin. Just another day. By the end of it I’ll probably go home and watch reruns of ‘The Office.’ Hopefully they reboot it one day!” I asked him who takes care of crime when he’s on his off-hours or even in his days off. “That’s an easy answer! Typically it would be some posers pretending to be me a team of reliable people, which I like to call The Spider-Verse, patrolling in my place. They look like me but they sport different colors and sometimes even fancy gadgets. Some also look like girls but I’m telling you I’m still the O.G. here. Maybe I should take the hint from my new movie and go on vacation for once…”

I’m gonna start ordering pizza every day for lunch. Who cares about my health; all that matters is that I get those pictures of Spider-Man.

So does that mean Spider-Man is really Peter Parker? “No. That’s a made-up lie for entertainment value. Me and Pete are actually best friends! Actually hold up, my phone’s going off. Oh why you look at that! It’s Peter Parker himself! We’re meeting up for a photoshoot session in an hour and then maybe go mini golfing in the Pier so I better go. Catch ya later!”

I swear when he pulled out his phone, it looked like it was turned off. It didn’t make any sound and I didn’t see any caller I.D. or anything. But hey, it’s Spider-Man so I’ll trust him. And take a look at these photos I got of him! Peter Parker, watch your back. There’s a new photographer in town and he’s gonna GET THOSE PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!

Remember, Spidey, I’ll have free pizza for you up here again! Also, is it okay if I add pineapple toppings on it? I’m not really a pepperoni kind of guy.

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