By Edgar Ortiz

SCOTTSDALE, AZ — We caught up with a local family of six (you heard that right) who just made plans to go to the beach over the weekend. The family wasn’t interested in talking but one of the children, Jeffy, insisted on giving us an exclusive interview. The parents wouldn’t allow it, but after several minutes of nonstop screaming and crying, they gave in and accepted young Jeffy’s request at giving us this exclusive. The 3-year old had plenty to talk about, from his favorite ice cream to his exposed tactics at avoiding Mommy’s yucky dinner.


CK: So how are you today, Jeffy?

J: Yes.


CK: Are you enjoying the summer so far?

J: Well I keep getting water all over my head for no reason and my clothes always get soaked whenever I go outside, even if it’s not raining! But it’s been- it’s been- it’s been…FUN! 


CK: Do you love your brothers and sister?

J: Billy tries to teach me stuff and Dolly is always being bossy . Also, PJ cries a lot. I don’t know. I think I might [love them] but it’s a secret!


CK: What’s your favorite ice cream?

J: CHOCOLATE! But make sure it’s from the Sugar Bowl. If it’s not from there, then I don’t like it.


CK: Do you always eat your vegetables for dinner?

J: No, gross! Why would you? Green food is so icky! It looks and tastes so weird! Why do grownups eat it all the time??


CK: What do you do if there are any greens in your dinner plate?

J: Easy. I just give em to Sam and Barfy when Mommy isn’t looking! They are always begging for food and it makes them so happy. And as a reward, you get kisses from them!



CK: What would you like to be when you grow up?

J: I want to be LUKE SKYWALKER!


CK: Soo a pilot? Or an astronaut? Professional stuntman, maybe?

J: No. LUKE SKYWALKER! And I want my own wookie like Chewie!


CK: Oh wow. Okay then. What about stuff you like to do now?

J: Well, I do like drawing and coloring a lot.


CK: Ohhh maybe you could be a cartoonist someday!

J: I don’t know. I really want my own wookie.


CK: So what are you most excited about right now?

J: We’re going to the beach! THE BEACH! There’s going to be tons of sand everywhere and I plan on building my own sand castle and it’s gonna be so big that I’ll have a big sand chair for me to be king. I’m going to need guards in case you want to apply for the job?


CK: Thank you but I think I’ll pass. I’d be happy to make a report out of your new kingdom though?

J: Yes that would be great. That way Mommy and Daddy know that I’m busy doing king stuff instead of going to church on Sunday.



You can follow Jeffy’s beach adventures here.