Timeline – 2006 Part 3

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Hi and Lois Sunday page digital proof, September 10, 2006.

Lois Flagston started working as a real estate agent in 1980.  We like to think she is more honest than most sales people. In the episode above we had some fun with a few of the typical terms real estate agents often use by graphically showing their true meaning.

Here are some other examples of real estate jargon.

Charming: means they couldn’t think of a more appropriate word.
Needs a Little TLC: means it needs about $45,000 dollars or more in renovations and repairs.
Won’t Last Long at This Price: means the price is so low it will compel you to see it but it will take a miracle for you to want to buy it.
Close To Schools: means get a good set of ear plugs and get used to solicitors.
Walk to Shopping: means the liquor store is across the street.
Off Street Parking: means that you park in an alley.
Fixer Upper: means fixing absolutely everything on an upper-end unlimited budget.

Loaded With Potential: means loaded with problems the seller didn’t want to tackle.
Cute: means they couldn’t think of any other possible way to describe it.
Great Bones: means you’re going to have to gut it and rebuild.
For Sale By Owner: means you better come with your Agent or a Lawyer to negotiate.
Wooded / Shaded Lot: means surrounded by trees and leaves on the ground.
Sold As Is: means don’t even think about asking for any repairs.
No Disclosures: means you’re going to have to find out all the problems with the home on your own.

This One Won’t Last: means literally, it’s about to fall to the ground.
Cozy: means it’s very very small.
Spacious: means it’s the only good thing they could say about it.
Tenants Already In Place: means you’re going to have to kick them out if you want to live in the home.
All Systems in Place: means the vac and electrical wiring and copper hasn’t been stolen yet.
This One Won’t Last, Hurry: means I need offers to impress my seller because I’m not sure if I can sell the house or not?
Gorgeous Water Views: means you’re literally soaking in it.

Great Potential for Renovation: means you may be able to repair it or you may have to tear it down and rebuild.
Mature Trees: means get them checked, they’re likely dead and going to fall any day now.
Great Investment Opportunity: means you wouldn’t want to live there.
Quiet Established Neighborhood: means it’s quiet because all the other homes on the block are abandoned.
Use Caution When Viewing Property: means don’t go inside.
Gated Community: means all your neighbors will be prisoners and convicts.
Schedule Appointment for Showing: means the place is definitely haunted!

Next week we will feature another classic Sunday page from 2006 so stay tooned.

– Brian Walker