June 23rd, 2014

Security Invasion

by Wayno & Piraro

Bizarro is brought to you today by Brief Survey.

If you’re not accustomed to going through security at American airports, you may miss some of this gag. The wording these guys say over and over, all day long is, “Completely empty the contents of your pockets and take off your shoes.” (Which you are supposed to put in a tray.) Yes, we Americans still have to take off our shoes and run them through the X-ray machine because years ago, some mentally disturbed lunatic tried to ignite a bomb he had hidden in his shoe. Thank god he didn’t hide it in his underwear. So, while thinking of what a security check might look like on an alien planet, I came up with this gag. Theoretical physicists would back me up that this could potentially be happening on another planet, or a parallel universe. So there.

I must admit that I think the TSA is an enormous waste of money and resources. Studies have shown that it is just as easy as it ever was to sneak weapons onto a commercial airline, so all they are really doing is inconveniencing honest people and costing the government billions. I call it “theater of security,” and believe it mostly exists to convince Americans that it is safe to travel by air. Which, statistically, it is, with or without the TSA.

DEJA VIEW: From 1998 I bring you this idea about aliens. You likely can’t see it at this resolution, but each pea has a little eyeball and two antennae. So cute! (Click the owl for a larger view.) I particularly like this couple’s quirky sense of decorating. Note also that because the aliens are from another planet, they speak with a different font than humans.