The 2 hour de-what?

By Jeremy Meltingtallow


For those of us in the snowy parts of the world, the “2-hour delay” should be something that most have experienced.  Is it a good thing?  Well, let me break it down into “fact vs. fiction”

1.  You get to sleep in.                                                                                                                       (FACT….but not really)  Although you do get to sleep in, it’s not by THAT much….so this one is kinda shady

2. The school day will go faster.                                                                                                    (FICTION)  Yes.  We start later.  BUT that does not cause the clocks to move faster when you get there.  60 minutes is 60 minutes people.  So the day will not actually move faster.

3. It will be safer conditions 2 hours later than the normal start time.                                           (FICTION)  Thanks to the polar vortex, this theory was proven.  At 8 am the temperature was 1 degree.  At 10 am the temperature was 1 degree.  Call in a math major if you wish, but I am pretty sure I can tell you the difference.

But maybe my biggest gripe out of all of this is that even with a 2 hour delay, I still don’t get to watch “The Price is Right”….and that shouldn’t be!  Just cancel school!