Burning Desires

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

bz panel 08-16-13bz strip 08-16-13Bizarro is brought to you today by WILF.

I’ve had this gag on deck for months but resisted drawing it because it is so labor intensive. I’m glad I finally did, though, because I really love the gag.

I sat on a jury once in a civil trial where a guy who was barely tapped in bumper-to-bumper, rush-hour traffic was trying to get money for whiplash. It was a comically clumsy, sit-com attempt to cash in on a very minor traffic accident. One other juror and I voted “not guilty,” but the others wanted to give the guy in the phony neck brace the money. Some of the memorable quotes I heard from three other jurors while deliberating follow: “I think he’s lying too, but when you make a mistake, you gots to pay.” “He might be lying but I was taught it is wrong to judge.” “Aren’t we bound by law to believe everything he says under oath?” This is a true story.

If these jurors are typical, I hope to god I’m never on trial because this was most decidedly not a “jury of my peers.” I don’t hang out with people that stupid.

This cartoon also reminds me of the modern witch hunt that some of our more primitive fellow Americans are engaging in toward homosexuals. The more things change, the more they remain the same, I guess.

bz panel 12-10-07 steroidsDEJA VIEW: For today’s Bizarro from the past, I’ve chosen this one from 2007 about another jury of fools that I hope never to face.