July 20th, 2013

Small Problem

by Wayno & Piraro

Bizarro is brought to you today by Prostate Exams.

Since it’s just you and me talking (I’m serious, you’re my only blog reader) I’m going to talk about something personal if you’ve no objections: my prostate gland. I don’t know what it does exactly and only vaguely know where it is, but it has some kind of connection to sexual activity, I think, and it can be accessed by a doctor easily if not pleasantly. (Unless you’re REALLY attracted to your doctor, which I am not.) I’m not sure how I’m supposed to take care of it but so far, I’ve had no problems so I guess I’m doing a good job. My dad missed one of my many weddings because he had to have prostate surgery. He’s okay now, but at the time it seemed scary. So I guess it is fair to say that I’m a little afraid of my own prostate. So far, so good, though.

On the other hand, like the poor sap in this cartoon of mine, I have been shrinking. When I was 21, I was a full inch taller than I am now at age 54. I knew that old people shrunk, but I had no idea it started this early. At this rate, I will be about waist-high on most people by the time I’m 70. I just hope my prostate shrinks with me.

Today’s historical Bizarro cartoon from 1999 is about another disturbing medical condition. I still like this gag a lot but I wonder why I bothered with those stupid, old fashioned nurse hats. It’s not like the reader wouldn’t have known these were nurses if I’d just put one of those lumpy hair bags on them. (sigh)