June 9th, 2013

Kiss of Death

by Wayno & Piraro

Bizarro is brought to you today by Kissing Strangers.

In olden times, like the early and mid-20th century, kissing booths were a regular feature of county fairs and like. This was not before communicable diseases were invented, but it was, apparently, before people had any sense.

Can you imagine putting up a kissing booth at a county fair now? Even if the woman was extremely attractive, would she still get guys who were horny and dumb enough to kiss a random stranger who had been kissing random strangers all day long? Well, yes, she would, because men are just that dumb and horny, but she likely wouldn’t get many. The booth would have to be “manned” by a woman, of course, because I don’t think many women are dumb or horny enough to kiss random men and pay for the privilege. Then there is the question of gay customers, which opens up an entire other can of worms. Would it be discrimination if a person in a public kissing booth rejected the business of a person of the same sex? Of course it would, this is America, where law suits involving hurt feelings are a billions-of-dollars-a-year business.

Medically speaking, I don’t know how dangerous it would actually be to kiss strangers all day long. But it creeps me out. Which is only one of the many reasons I’ve never employed a prostitute.