The Ex Factor

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At my ripe old age, after several decades as an adult and two divorces, I’m pretty cynical about marriage. For years, when I have (reluctantly) attended the wedding of people in their 20s, I cannot help but think to myself, The first marriage is often the most important. I try to keep these thoughts to myself in the reception line, however, and just offer them my congratulations.

These days, when I (very reluctantly) find myself in a bar full of young single people looking for love, I see a roomful of future ex-spouses. It is profoundly sad that two people who see each other as “soul mates” can find themselves bitter enemies a few years down the road. Although I never intend to marry again, or even live under the same roof with a significant other, I do still believe that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. (You may quote me.) I have come to the conclusion that the best you can do is take relationships a day at a time, not promise a lifetime of commitment, then treat them well, with respect and loyalty (no cheating), until it just doesn’t work anymore. Statistically, that day is likely to come before either of you dies so I think it is best to accept that and go in with your eyes open. If you get lucky and have many decades of happiness with the same person, good for you. You beat the odds.

Sorry to be a downer today, but sometimes cartoons are more poignant than funny. Still, since there is no way to avoid emotional pain in life, it’s good to be able to chuckle at it in hindsight.