February 19th, 2012
by Wayno & Piraro
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Bizarro is brought to you today by Double Entendre Road.
Welcome to my blog, where you’ll see my daily cartoons and most of you will ignore the things I write about them. If you’re one of those who just pops in to read the cartoons and are skipping the hilarious prose that accompanies them, you’re missing some of the best parts: funny ideas and words like “juice,” “parachutes,” “careening,” and much more more.
Our first comic today is the 21st in my series of Sunday Punnies, wherein I make cartoons out of puns that readers send me. This week’s puns are from Bob Dell-Agostino, Coke Ellington, and Joe Turner. A feminist might be asking at this point, “Why three men? Why not a woman? Are women not funny to you, you chauvinist jackass?” To which I would reply, “How do you know that one of these authors is not a woman? Maybe Joe and Bob are women. Who’s the sexist now, Ms. Angrypants?”
Whatever kind of plumbing these three readers have, I’d like to congratulate them all and thank them for their humorous donations to this edition of Bizarro Sunday Punnies. You can find some previous ones here.
Also note that I WILL NOT publish your pun suggestion in the comments section, so as not to ruin it for readers should I choose it. Your mathematical odds of getting your idea into a future Bizarro Sunday Punnies is roughly one in however-many-people-submit-puns. So don’t get all cranky if yours isn’t picked for The Big Show. In the big picture, this kind of thing is utterly meaningless. Not unlike my career.
Here are some other cartoons I published this week. I hope you are a powerful producer and like them all so much that you want to sign me to a lucrative career in television and film. Wouldn’t that be nice?
1. A funny bug joke from my buddy, Wayno. He talks about it here. I read it and I laughed.
2. A funny joke about getting fired. One reader complained that I should have used the word “carpet” instead of “rug.” To which I said, “Yeah, okay, you’re right. Whatever.”
3. A funny joke about bird puke. Is there any other kind? If you are not familiar with the ways of our feathered friends, you might like to know that mother birds eat disgusting things like worms and bugs, then barf them up into their babies’ mouths. It’s revolting, but the kids seem to love it. Not unlike Spaghetti-Os.
Here’s another cartoon I did about the same subject. It was not autobiographical.
4. This funny joke is also gross because it is about urination. Everyone does it but nobody wants to talk about it. Seriously. Try to get someone you met on the bus to talk about the last time they peed.
If you are now saying, “Dan, where can I get these funny cartoons and just about any other Bizarro cartoon I can think of from the last couple decades on underpants and god-knows what else?” I would say, “Click this.”
If you were to say, “Can I get your cartoons in books?” I would lead you to this place here.
This has been fun, hasn’t it? Stay crunchy, Jazz Pickles.
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