December 30th, 2011
As 2011 rolls to a close and we get ready to dive headlong into 2012, we thought it would be a perfect time to check in with all our favorite DailyINK comic characters and find out what their resolutions are for the upcoming year!
“Zippy: I pledge to every American citizen who votes for me in the upcoming Presidential election the Cabinet Post of their choice!”
—Bill Griffith, ZIPPY THE PINHEAD
“Finally realizing that jetpacks will never be made available to the common man, Ted Forth hereby resolves to fashion his own using two upside-down Diet Coke bottles, several Mentos and the chest harness from his still unproduced one-man play, “Icarus: What If He Hadn’t Flown?””
—Francesco Marciuliano, SALLY FORTH
“Beetle Bailey: I resolve to do less work than I did last year. I hope your year will be as happy as mine.”
—Mort Walker, BEETLE BAILEY
“Samantha’s resolution is to successfully defend her Ph.D. dissertation…without letting the world know just how advanced her abilities at genetic manipulation really are.”
“Dethany’s resolution is to win the respect and confidence of her co-workers on her own terms. That means hoping the company doesn’t adopt a dress code.”
—Bill Holbrook, SAFE HAVENS & ON THE FASTRACK
“Margo Magee resolves to be a kinder, gentler, Margo. At least for a couple of days”
—Margaret Shulock, APARTMENT 3-G
“Walt Duncan: Install the key hooks in the kitchen. So my son doesn’t leave my car keys in his jeans. So they don’t get buried like Pompeii in his dirty clothes pile. So they don’t go through the laundry. Next March. And I have to replace them for $400. So I CAN DRIVE MY OWN #&@*! CAR!”
“Pierce: For once — just once! — I would like to bungee jump from a helicopter without my parents freaking out about it.”
—Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman, ZITS
“Dennis resolves to finally stay up past Midnight on New Year’s Eve! Every year he tries and every year he misses it!”
—Marcus Hamilton & Ron Ferdinand, DENNIS THE MENACE
“A Happy New Year for Trixie Flagston is looking forward to another brand-new day. ”
—Brian Walker, HI & LOIS
“Oscar’s resolution is to buy less stuff. Unless it’s really really cool.”
—Alex Hallatt, ARCTIC CIRCLE
“Marvin resolves to lobby Congress for a ban on potty chairs!”
—Tom Armstrong, MARVIN
“Jill’s resolution is to put her OWN needs first! … after she helps the kids with their homework, picks up Rob’s prescription, makes dinner for Grandma Sophie, runs the girls to soccer, art and band, and meets her deadline. But right after that, she swears.”
—Terri Libenson, THE PAJAMA DIARIES
“Todd the Dinosaur resolves to never eat neighborhood dogs and cats. On Wednesdays. From 1:00 to 1:15 pm.”
—Patrick Roberts, TODD THE DINOSAUR
“Loweezy and’ Elviney both have th’ same New Year’s Resolution. That resolution is to stop gossipin’ (ev’rybody knows that oughta last about 20 minutes!).”
—John Rose, BARNEY GOOGLE AND SNUFFY SMITH
“”Refurb’s new year resolution is to find himself…and then hopefully find another part…and another…”
—Jonathan Mahood, BLEEKER THE RECHARGEABLE DOG
“CURTIS :My New Year’s Resolution is to get my dad to finally stop smoking, once and for all! If he doesn’t kill me while I’m helping him to do so.”
—Ray Billingsley, CURTIS
“My new year’s resolution is to defeat the Mayan calendar and make it through to 2013. Take that, spooky, dead, ancient people!”
—Dan Piraro, BIZARRO
Whew! We’ll be keeping track of who actually lives up to their resolutions this year. We here at DailyINK have made a resolution of our own: To spend more time reading comics, and less time working…wait, they’re the same thing! HOORAY!
Best wishes to everyone for a happy and healthy 2012 from everyone here at DailyINK!
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