August 28th, 2011

Last Post Before Certain Death

by Wayno & Piraro

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hurricane Irene.

Bizarro Headquarters in Brooklyn is directly in the path of Hurricane Irene today. It should hit us around sunset tonight and last into tomorrow. Much of the city has been evacuated but BzH is on high-enough ground that we have been spared. So here we sit with flashlights, safety goggles, helmets, snorkle gear, fresh water, canned food, cigars, scotch, two laptops with fully-charged batteries  and a stack of DVDs.

We expect to lose power at some point; the city is saying they’ll be shutting it off if there is flooding. I’m no meteorologist, but I’d say flooding is a fair bet considering that an airborne mass of water the size of Europe is heading this way. So I’m rushing to get some work done and uploaded to King Features before the power goes out, in case it takes a few days to get it back on.

If a chunk of the Brooklyn bridge blows through my windows and I die in this storm, this could be my last post. So I’m going to use it as a last will and testament:

Being of sound mind and body, I hereby bequeath all of my worldly goods to the first person to get Michele Bachmann’s husband to come out of the closet. You will need indisputable video evidence of him in flagrante with a member of his own sex, and it will need to make national news. The first person to pull that off gets all my stuff.* (Assuming that I am not survived by my wife or any blood relatives, of course. Let’s be reasonable.)

*A $4,000 value!

Here, now, are possibly the last two cartoons I will ever post. If you like them half as much as I enjoyed drawing them, times the amount of joy I felt when my daughters were born, minus a quarter of the nausea I experience when Sarah Palin winks, you will have saved at least one life more than you would have had you not saved any lives at all, and that person may grow up to find a cure for baldness.  And what more can a cartoonist ask?

Even after I’m dead, keep buying Bizarro cartoon products from my site so that CHNW will have at least a meager income. Thanks!




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