MOM HOPES PRESENTS SHE BOUGHT ONLINE WILL ARRIVE ON TIME FOR CHRISTMAS (MONDAY MOCK NEWS)
In the quiet suburbs, local family woman Lois Flagston ponders on the status of her online orders. “I ordered something for everybody in my family,” says the loving wife of Hi Flagston and mother of 4, while she was staring out the window, presumably waiting for a delivery truck. “That was last week. Normally they’d get here by today or tomorrow. We’ll just have to wait and see but I really don’t want to have to come up with a Santa Claus fantasy lie to explain why the UPS man couldn’t make it on time to bring them their new guitar or tablet. At that point, I might as well just cancel Amazon Prime.”
With Christmas right around the corner, all of the country’s mailing and delivering services such as FedEx and UPS are working tirelessly around the clock to get as many deliveries completed as possible. At this point, if you haven’t ordered your gift online yet, you’ll probably have better luck just going to your local mall or Grumbel’s.
We asked Mr. Flagston for comment right after he was done reading a Christmas fairy tale to his children. “Wait…She bought more presents? But what about those Black Friday deals? She almost maxed out my credit card!”
EDITOR’S NOTE: We would like to remind our readers to take a moment to remember who the real Santas are: The men and women working countless hours every week during this holiday season to deliver our packages. Despite tackling one of our economy’s most demanding and hard-working jobs, their work brings smiles to countless families across the country and we are grateful for that. To these people, we would like to wish you a very special thank you, a safe work shift and a happy holidays!
See? Not all dogs hate delivery men!