December 2nd, 2019

REPORT: THERE IS STILL SOME LEFTOVER FOOD FROM THANKSGIVING IN THE FRIDGE (MONDAY MOCK NEWS)

by Edgar

Thanksgiving may have come and gone, but we are receiving reports that someone, somewhere still has leftovers even today. In fact, we have been receiving reports that multiple people still have half a turkey tucked inside their fridge. But why would that be the case? Is there a new trendy diet that we don’t know about? Was football more important than eating? Did the politics talk scare everyone away before finishing up their plates? Did people make the grave mistake of having breakfast and lunch before the big Thanksgiving feast?? 

 

Whatever the case, Earl  seems to be happy that there are plenty of leftover foods.

 

As more reports keep coming in, it also becomes apparent that not only are the leftovers just turkey, but also sweets and desserts likes pumpkin pie. “There is just so much food on people’s fridge that they don’t have to go out to eat,” says local expert Don McRonald about this phenomenon. “Casual diners and fast food restaurants alike are seeing a drop in stocks and profits because of this. People may indeed have enough food in their fridge to even survive an apocalypse. I mean, you can clearly see that nobody has left their homes other than to go Black Friday shopping!”

 

An anonymous reader reached out to give us their personal insights on the matter: “Honestly, I just wasn’t all that hungry.”

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