August 5th, 2019

WOMAN ATTEMPTS TO RETURN STOLEN LLAMA TO A RETAIL STORE (MONDAY MOCK NEWS)

by Edgar

A woman attempted to return a llama that was reportedly stolen from a local petting zoo this morning. Only it wasn’t the petting zoo she tried returning it to; it was a retail store.

At around 9:05 a.m., the woman showed up at the nearby Grumbel’s demanding a refund. One important thing to note here is that Grumbel’s is a department store, not a pet store of any kind, so of course there won’t be any animals to be found inside. The woman continued to insist that the store refund her money, despite the fact that the llama was never even bought in the first place. At approximately 9:15 a.m, authorities were called in, and they took the woman away and returned the llama to its home at the petting zoo.

We spoke with Amber, the cashier who had to deal with the whole situation. “She came in only five minutes after we opened the store. I’ve dealt with lunatic customers before, but this was on a whole other level,” says Amber. “She even claimed that I was the one who originally rang her up. Like, lady, we don’t even allow animals in the store! And while we were going at it, the llama peed and pooped all over the sales floor. Seriously you guys, I can’t make this up! I’ll take a customer returning an open product without a receipt over this any day. Heck, I’ll never complain about another ‘it-won’t-scan-so-it-must-be-free’ joke ever again after this!”

No word yet from authorities regarding the woman’s current status, but as mentioned before, the llama has been safely returned to its home.

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