July 21st, 2019

PRESCHOOLER CHOOSES TO TAKE A GAP YEAR FROM DAYCARE (MONDAY MOCK NEWS)

by Edgar

 

Marvin Miller, 3, hasn’t reached college yet and is already choosing to skip daycare for a year, sources say. The reasoning for this is that he needs more naps. His father, Jeff Miller, 35, had this to say on the matter: “I can’t afford to have Marvin at my house every day. That would mean his grandparents would have to move back into our house to take care of him. Please! I CAN’T HAVE MY FATHER-IN-LAW GET IN THE WAY OF MY DAILY LIFE AGAIN!!!” Marvin’s mother, Jenny, was also available for comment: “As long as he learns how to use the potty, he can take that gap year. I’ll try anything to get him potty-trained, at this point.”

 

It is still too early to determine whether Marvin will indeed take that gap year off. His dog, Bitsy, had this to say: “Ruff ruff ruff.”

 

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