Home Again

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Gosh I Hope Not.

With income disparity in the U.S. being what it is these days, adult children are returning home in record numbers. One of my own daughters recently spent a few months with us down here in Mexico. Even though Olive Oyl and I enjoyed her stay immensely and found her to be a perfect house guest, it was her visit that inspired this cartoon.

In spite of what I’m sure was a highly flawed effort on my part, I seem to have managed to raise two daughters to be decent, stable, pleasant human beings with whom I enjoy spending time. Her stay wasn’t about money issues, I’m happy to say. She just needed a break from the America that has been “made great again”.  (A thinking person can only stand so much of that kind of greatness.)

Now it’s time to see what kind of greatness Wayno uncovered in his cartoonaeology excavations last week…

As decorative injuries go, both tattoos and scrimshaw have their good and bad points. Tattoos can be much more colorful, of course, but scrimshaw can include far more detail and doesn’t spread and fade over time the way tattoos do. Choose wisely.

I’m guessing most people have had a similar experience as the one above. I once made the mistake of telling my grandmother-in-law that I liked penguins and it led to a years-long stream of her gifting me tacky things with ugly illustrations of penguins on them. I never let her know how much I regretted the original comment. And I hope I never see another penguin-laden product.

If a flying baby approaches you with a bow and arrow and threatens to shoot, almost anything you do next is going to be wrong. One can only hope a bug zapper would intervene.

Does this gift say “I love you” or “I’m nuts”? 

Quick aside: Wayno also writes a blog about our weekly cartoons and almost always includes some interesting, oddball music from the mid-20th century. This week is particularly fun with some examples of faux Beatle products. Check it out and come right back.

Wayno and I had fun devising the home decor of a fire extinguisher. He added the pictures on the wall, it was my suggestion to do the TV fireplace thing. I imagine that over his bed he has a giant photo of the Hindenberg in flames. I’m not sure what that suggests, but it seems funny somehow.

All of my inboxes were full this week with people correcting the spelling of “deserts,” assuming it was referring to those dry, sandy places with cactus. The truth is, the above spelling is not an error. The original phrase was “just deserts,” referring to a person getting what they deserve. Since that word was pronounced just like “desserts”, people eventually began spelling it that way in reference to this phrase and the error has become so common that it is now accepted by dictionaries and the like. The original use of the word “deserts” in reference to deserving something is long gone but the phrase remains popular and that tiny point is what this cartoon is about. Living languages change and it’s a waste of time getting too upset about it.

It reminds me a bit of the phrase “I could care less”. Though that is the common way most folks say it, it actually means the opposite of what you’re trying to convey. The original (and grammatically correct) phrase is “I couldn’t care less,” meaning that I care so little, it would not be possible to care less. On the contrary, I care very much about my wife so I could care less.

That concludes this week’s whatever-this-is. Thanks for hobbling along with us for another week, Jazz Pickles. If you appreciate our efforts, please consider visiting one of the links below and supporting us in some small way.

Until my next post, be nice, be happy, be smart, and resist ignorance and fascism.

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