Helllooo, Mama Bear!

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

It’s happening. Cue the ominous “Jaws” music. Amy. Is. Dating.

Sure, there are the standard jokes about the teenage girl’s dad interrogating the date and polishing his shotgun.

But what about the mom? This is her baby, too, after all.

Well, if you’re anything like Jill, first you’ll make it all about YOU.



Then, suddenly, it’ll hit you. She’s growing up. And dating legitimately. And maybe even engaging in, um… (fingers in ears) LALALALALA!

(Dads: This is when you should stop reading.)


Luckily, the mother’s pragmatic instincts usually kick in around this time. And in the best of situations, you’re saved from a painfully embarrassing conversation…for both of you.


As pragmatic as you are, though, that won’t stop you from staying up late, worrying. Or texting your daughter every ten minutes. Or being a general pain in the a**. But that’s okay, you’re a mom. In this case, you have an excuse for your stalkerish protective tendencies.

And maybe someday, with enough therapy, she’ll forgive you.

Good luck, Mom.