Baby Dog Hitman Tornado

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Man, The Cake.

Everyone has seen plenty of parents who have no business raising kids, but nobody thinks they are one of them. It’s been said many times that you have to pass a test to drive a car, but anyone can have a kid, ruin them, and set them loose on society to wreak havoc. (No, it isn’t “wreck” havoc, in case you are wondering.) Beyond this obvious issue, it is also safe to say that humans are the only species actively destroying the planet, and everyone and everything would benefit greatly if we stopped reproducing. Yeah. Like that’s going to happen.











I was raised in Oklahoma where not everyone is a stupid redneck, but there are certainly more than you could shake a stick at. I still think they’re funny.















In the movies, mobsters are frequently trying to make a “hit” look like an accident. This target makes it easy.








DEJA VIEW: Since I just mentioned I was raised in tornado country, I thought this gag from 1995 might amuse you. I had close relatives whose trailer was picked up by a tornado back around 1970, tossed to the ground, and destroyed. They were all injured but miraculously not killed. That bz951227TornadoWEBkind of thing is pretty common in those parts.