March 17th, 2014

Editor’s Dispatch: Happy Anniversary to On the Fastrack!

by Countess Tea

This week, we’d like to wish a very happy 30th anniversary to On the Fastrack  by Bill Holbrook.    As of this coming Wednesday, the tireless workers of Fastrack, Inc., will be celebrating three decades of corporate toil!  So let’s raise a glass to them, and to Bill, who sent along this lovely look into a live chat with the Fastrack team 

	WENDY Welcome to Fastrack, Inc.’s 30th anniversary office party!  I’ll be hosting the festivities along with my able assistant Dethany Dendrobia.
	DETHANY For those of you at home (and staffers who called in ‘sick’) we’ll be live tweeting during the event, thanks to tech guru Bud Spore who-
	BUD Um…Sorry. System crash. We’re back.
	WENDY Bud, you’ve been at Fastrack longer than anyone other than Ms. Trellis. What changes have you seen in the past 3 decades?
	BUD In the 1980s tech was in its infancy, as its connectivity wasn’t anywhere near as reliable as it is n-
	WENDY …And we’re back. Another longtime employee is my husband Art Welding who can offer valuable perspective on the passage of time. Art?
	ART bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
	WENDY *sigh* He seems to have fallen asleep with his face on his keyboard.
	DETHANY Ms. Trellis? Perhaps this would be a good time for you to address your gathered workforce
	ROSE Greetings. Fastrack’s success is attributed to a loyal, close-knit (shall I say) *family*, united & working toward a shared goal as a team!!
	DETHANY Thank you, Ms. Trellis, for sending that from your private island in the Caribbean.
	ROSE Another daiquiri!  *disconnect*
	LENORE *Squawk!*
	DETHANY That’s my raven Lenore.
	DETHANY Lenore’s allowed in as Ms. Trellis fancies herself as George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life & that character had a raven in *his* office.
	LENORE *Squawk!*
	FI Get that filthy carrion-eater away from me.
	WENDY We told you, Ms. Trellis is in the Carib- Oh, you meant the bird.
	DETHANY This is Fi, from Accounting. A happy shining ray of sunshine.
	FI Sunshine would probably turn you to dust, freak.
	FI Listen up! I want everyone here to tally each mouthful of party cake for your expense report. You’ll be docked accordingly-  Hey!
	DETHANY Let the record show that Fi is now wearing everybody’s cake
	WENDY Thanks for coming! We’re looking forward to another thirty years!
	ART bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb