Shrinks, Nuts, Crooks, Tramps, Cons

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

bz panel 02-10-14bz panel 02-11-14bz panel 02-12-14bz panel 02-13-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Fetish.


As is often the case, my Monday and Tuesday were too busy with Bizarro deadlines for me to post, then I got arrested on Wednesday and was still unable to post, but now I’m out on bail so here at long last are Mon’s, Tues’s, Wed’s and Thurs’s cartoons from this week.

Monday’s is about something that most couples experience at some point. I’ve been to couples therapy with three different women in my life and all three relationships ended shortly thereafter. In my cases, the therapy was an effort to save something that was already gone. In one case, and it was more-or-less the impetus for this gag, my wife and our female therapist spent all of their time agreeing with each other and telling me I just needed to forgive her. To add insult to injury, I was the one paying for the therapist. I don’t recommend her.



I got a fair amount of responses from people on the Grape-Nuts gag; it seemed to resonate with readers in some unexpected ways. Check out this adorable story. For my Jazz Pickles in foreign countries who may not be familiar with the product, it is a breakfast cereal that’s been around for over a hundred years and contains neither grapes nor nuts. This pun on the well-known quote from Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” is the brainchild of my good friend Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay. (For those of you in the know, Cliff was able to get the piano for his son. Yay!)





Wednesday’s cartoon is about an American TV show that has been widely touted as the best TV drama of all time. I concur but there’s no doubt it is at least in the top five. If you’ve not seen the entire series, this joke will evade you. If that is the case, it’s not worth explaining, so just move on.







Thursday’s cartoon is perhaps a little trite. The old “don’t try this at home” punch line has been used to death but for some reason I thought this version of a bum sleeping on a public bench was amusing enough to draw. I’m not so sure now, however. Oh well, at least we get a nice shot of Bunny’s Pie Repair in the background and that dashing man in the foreground with his Bizarro Jazz Pickle button.





bz 06-02-98 titanicWEBVintage Pickling: Today’s ancient relic is from 1998. I remember seeing an ad for a submarine tour of the Titanic, just like the one in the cartoon and for the same price. Being the entrepreneurial type that I am, I immediately thought of an alternative, more affordable way to visit the wreckage. To date, I’ve only actually sold a handful of these travel packages.