Damned If You Do

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

bz panel 10-12-13bz strip 10-12-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Road Less Traveled.

When I was a teenager, I attended a fundamentalist Bible church for a few years, during which time I fully believed in The Devil, the Antichrist, the mark of the beast–666, the Book of Revelations, the Second Coming, the rapture, and the whole end-of-the-world shebang. In my defense, I was a kid and this kind of delusional thinking was common in places like Tulsa, Oklahoma, where evangelists abound. It is amazing how much influence the people around you can have. When I think of it now, I shudder at my gullibility. But it does make a pretty dandy cartoon all these years later, courtesy of my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. You can see his original sketch and read his clever commentary here. If you believe in The Devil and the Second Coming, that’s fine, I hope we can still be friends. Whatever keeps your wig in place, I always say.




BIZARRO OF THE LIVING DEAD: Here’s a devil cartoon from 2004 in which I “legally” defeated the funny pages ban on foul language THREE TIMES! Using the word “damned” in its literal form enabled me to skirt the rules a bit, although I was required to provide an innocuous substitute cartoon for the markets that did not feel comfortable putting such smutty, subversive verbiage in their paper. I have no way of knowing how many of my client papers used this one and how many used the substitute.bz 01-24-04DamnedWEB Perhaps Satan will tell me after I die.