Space Cookies

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

bz panel 09-12-13 oreobz strip 09-12-13oreoBizarro is brought to you today by Suspicious Origins.

Here’s the latest offering from my good friend and occasional collaborator, Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay. It’s a simple gag but I think it’s fun.

I’m not sure where I stand on the existence of extra-terrestrial life and its likelihood of visiting this planet. Considering the vastness of the universe, it seems likely that there is intelligent life elsewhere. Whether or not there exists any capable of visiting here is endlessly debatable. Humans have a natural habit of seeing things that aren’t there and building stories around the experience, so my rational side is inclined to dismiss UFO stories. On the other hand, I saw a video once of 8 or 10 very respectable citizens of Earth testifying at length before a Senate committee about experiences they’d had that defied any other explanation. These weren’t random rednecks (like Cliff) or creative yahoos (like me) but people who held high-ranking positions in the military and business world, so they had plenty to lose by saying things into a microphone that most people would consider wacky. Based on that one video, I’m still skeptical but open minded. It would not surprise me greatly to find out either were true.

Where do you stand? Any first-hand experiences that you Jazz Pickles would care to relate? Don’t worry about public ridicule, nobody but you and me reads this blog.

bz ALIENS 02-07-10 wbDEJA VIEW: This cartoon from 2010 touches on both today’s theme and yesterday’s discussion of religion. For those unfamiliar with the lunacy that is the Church of Scientology, which is what this cartoon refers to, the members believe that ancient extra-terrestrials live inside them, or some such nonsense. (I think they also get their own planet when they die but I might be confusing them for Mormons.) How they get seemingly intelligent people with loads of money and positions of power to join their ranks I swear I will never know. Even with my cynical view of the superstitious nature of humans, I can’t make sense of believing in a religion so expensive, far-fetched, openly ridiculous, and invented by a 20th-century science fiction writer. Color me mystified.

You can also argue, of course, that the basic tenets of any religion are just as far-fetched and ridiculous and you’d be right. But at least the traditional have these things going for them: 1) they come from a more mystical time when there were still unicorns and flying carpets 2)our ancestors believed in them for centuries 3)our parents taught them to us as “fact” when we were too young to logically question such things. Being afraid to let go of scary ideas surgically inserted into your brain when you were very young is forgivable and very common. But to agree as an adult to dedicate all your money to a far-fetched, outer-space church that was dreamed up by a guy who dreamed up far-fetched, outer-space things for a living just seems too absurd to be true. And yet, they have enough money to own just about every other building in Los Angeles and many more around the world.

Perhaps I should rethink my career options. Perhaps I should claim divine guidance and begin offering life advice (through cartoons) to anyone willing to donate all cash and assets to me. And best of all, if I get enough rubes to commit, it will all be tax free! Hmm.