Small Threats

Bizarro is made possible today by At Least It’s Fresh.

I’ve known many dogs in my 659 months of life and I think I know a thing or two about what I imagine they might be thinking or dreaming about. As an imaginary expert in the field of dog psychology, I can assure you that dogs do, in fact, fantasize about having the abilities of humans in regards to activities like driving cars and running down pedestrians. Most people assume that dogs chase cars because they mistake them for prey, but the truth is that dogs desperately want to drive. Other common dog fantasies include riding the subway, having lunch at expensive restaurants while sitting in a chair, playing ping pong, and humping the legs of celebrities. Favorite celebrities of dog’s fantasies include Justin Timberlake, Anna Gunn, Michael Jordon, Hillary Clinton, and Jay Leno.

 

 

 

 

 

REGURGITATED PICKLES: Today’s oldie is from 2002. It has nothing to do with dogs or psychology, but I’ve always been proud of this gag and still like it after all of these years. It is my hope that a Jazz Pickle or two will dig it, too.