Rex Me Up

Bizarro is brought to you today by Badass Messiah.

Over the weekend, Klamelda and I went to a big fundraiser here in LA sponsored by the Derby Dolls: a women’s roller derby league. It was held in several large warehouse spaces and the parking lots of said buildings. They had circus performers and various other sideshow kinds of things, as well as an exhibition match between two derby teams. It was a blast.

While there, Klamelda posed with a statue of one of her heroes, Jack Daniels. And I met a new hero, Al (somebody), who is the national champion in the musketeer division of mustache competition. Here’s a shot of the two of us. I hope to one day sport such bold formation of dead protein.

Perhaps my favorite thing about the event was the “rink names” the ladies display on the backs of their uniforms. I’m a huge fan of funny names, so here is a list of some of my favorites:

Oliver Clothesoff, Syphilis Diller, Hurtin’ Ernie, Roger Assaultrey, Misfortune Cookie, Santa Demonica, Oscar Vile, Thora Zeen, Marina Del Rage, Hunnie Brasco, Regulateher, Fleetwood Smack, Heidi Evidence, Ryder Hard, Hurt Lockher, Gnarly Simon, Gori Spelling.

And, to rounds things off for today, here is an old, moldy Bizarro cartoon created during the mesoplasticine era.