Guess the Guest

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bz panel 07-01-13bz strip 07-01-13Bizarro is brought to you by Guest Host.

Hey, Jazz Pickles. Remember a while back I went to Yosemite for a week with Klamelda? Well, I was able to do that because by good friend and talented colleague, J.C.Duffy of The Fusco Brothers and TheNew Yorker magazine fame, did a week of cartoons for me. It’s the syndicated cartoon world’s version of a vacation, since we are under contract to provide 7 cartoons per week, 52 weeks per year, forever until we retire or die. We don’t get holidays or sick time or vacation time or time off to breast feed our newborns; we just have to keep cranking out cartoons every florping day until we jump off of a bridge. It’s a white-hot hell. But with the help of J.C., I managed to steal a week of downtime. I could just kiss him. (But I promise not to do it here.)

As Duffy says on his blog (which has lots of other fun cartoons of his) the original ailment in this cartoon was “frequent urination.” My editors thought that too many of Duffy’s jokes during this week were edgy so they asked us to downgrade a couple for easier viewing. Duffy chose “restless leg syndrome” for this one, which I think is a terribly funny name for a malady.

Coincidentally and unbeknownst to J. C.,  I’ve suffered from this very thing for years. Nobody knows what causes it or how to treat it effectively but it is miserable and will ruin your life. Once it starts happening regularly, you’ll never get a good night’s sleep for the rest of your life. (I did discover a fairly simple cure, however, and after researching this very treatment online, I found that others are doing the same thing. If you suffer from it, leave a comment and I’ll send you a note on how to get rid of it. Seriously.)

Hope you enjoy this week’s cartoons. I’ll be blogging about each one, as usual.