Screaming for Sex

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

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I’m one of those people who hates nightclubs. If I’m going to spend time in a bar, it has to be a reasonably quiet, neighborhood bar where I can have a conversation with a friend over a drink. As long as I live, I’ll never understand the attraction of a crowded room with music blasting so loudly that one has to shout to be heard.

These places are immensely popular and their primary purpose for the patrons seems to be to arrange sexual encounters. I have personally never had any luck in getting a woman to want to have sex with me while I’m shouting at her. I remain utterly mystified by this process.