Keeping Doctors Away

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Graduating Class.

Back in the late 1900s, in the early days of computers, if you typed “7734” on a calculator and turned it upside down, it spelled “hell.” That was one of the coolest, dirtiest things my friends and I did in 7th grade and we lived in terror we would get caught because it would likely mean spending the rest of our academic career in military school. Today, 7th graders are writing “F*CK” in crystal meth on their desk before they smoke it. That’s progress, I guess.

Regarding Rene Magritte’s creepy little brother, don’t miss the blood stains on the desktop. Makes him oh-so-much creepier. BTW: if you don’t know Rene Magritte, he’s the guy who made this famous painting. It is said that it is a portrait of his father, Pete, who often hid behind fruit because of his inability to connect emotionally with his family. Also take note of the smears on the chalkboard, which took me a while to figure out how to do in Photoshop. You just don’t get this kind of realistic detail in Garfield or Pearls Before Swine.