March 17th, 2013
by Wayno & Piraro
Bizarro is brought to you today by Grizzly Bear Coin Purse.
You’ve stumbled upon this week’s roundup of Bizarro cartoons. First up is this silly little ditty by my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I love this gag and it makes me realize how much has changed in recent years. Not long ago, women worried about have a large butt. Now, with superstar-mondo-caboose celebs like J-Lo and Kim Kardashian, many women wish their butts were bigger. It’s always nice to have a role model, no matter what your body type, I suppose. Here’s what Wayno has to say about this collaboration.
It is thought to be bad luck to wish someone good luck before they perform, so people wish them the opposite in the form of saying, “Break a leg.” I like to extend that courtesy to others as well, so when I go to a wedding I tell the newlyweds, “Have a painful and expensive divorce,” and at birthdays I usually say something like, “Die before the next one.”Only seems fair.
This is one of those rare cartoons that amuses as well as teaches a lesson: Always rob someone after they’ve been paid. And for those of you Jazz Pickles who are keeping a scrapbook of secret jokes within my cartoons, notice the hands of the thug in green. Instead of the stereotypical “L-O-V-E H-A-T-E,” I’ve given it a personalized twist with “L-O-V-E H-A-T-S.” Which I do.
This cartoon serves as a painful reminder that my hair is getting thinner. I recently went to a very small concert in which I was standing on the front row, near the lead singer. The performance was video taped and since I was close, the back of my head is visible and highlighted a bit by the spotlight on the singer. Watching the video was a rude awakening to see what others see when they stand behind me.
I like this optometrist gag, of which I’ve done many over the years. Can you find all ten of the secret symbols within? The first nine are the easiest. Okay, ten is pretty easy, too.
And the cartoon on the very next day is also about an eye doctor! Just coincidence, really, but if you’re a conspiracy buff, assign whatever elaborate reason you wish. But please share it in the comments; I love a good conspiracy as well as the next guy.
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