Founding Boomerang Jumper Dog Stick Wig

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you by The Glories of Technology.

Today in my weekly roundup of Bizarro cartoons we begin with one that ran on President’s Day (in the U.S.).  People are fond of claiming that nothing gets done in Washington but the truth is likely closer to “too much” gets done in Washington. I’m not one of those people who believes that everything would be fine if the government did nothing other than raise an army, but I do think it would be nice if the Patriot Act was scrapped. And also the ludicrous TSA ban on liquids.







This cupid cartoon was written many months ago and I meant to use it on or around Valentine’s Day but I forgot. So here it is late. I hope people still get it. (kidding) This was the brainchild of my good buddy and colleague, Dan McConnell.







Have you ever thought about what method you would choose if you were going to kill yourself? Don’t worry, thinking about suicide is normal, it’s when you actually buy the supplies or compose the note that you have something to worry about. I’m a big believer in suicide as a logical alternative when you’re old, too sick to ever get better, in pain, tired of it all. Why not check out on your own terms? I’m a big advocate of the legalization of physician assisted suicide. The real tragedy of suicide seems to me to be the people left behind. If I’m suffering and the end is inevitable, I think my survivors would rather see me die with dignity than waste away. That’s just my two cents and has nothing to do with this cartoon, really.







I only had one dog as a child and she ran away when she got old and never came back. It happened while I was away at college. Or at least, that’s what my parents told me. Hmmm.








One of my buddies from Texas, Brian Levy, asked me what kind of chalk outline a stick figure would get and that was the birth of this cartoon. It occurred to me that the worst way to kill a stick figure would be a gun because you’d have to be such a good shot. A knife or an eraser would be much easier.





At the risk of seeming immodest, I confess I’m in love with this drawing. There’s something about the way the eagles look that really floats my taco. I love the proud posture on the bewigged eagle as he ignores the comments of his companion and the judgmental attitude of the critic. I hope you enjoy it, too. On a different note, I’m losing my hair but have no intention of wearing a toupee. If I did, I think it would be a rainbow afro. I probably wouldn’t be fooling anyone anyway, so why not go for the gold?

If I find the time (and I will!) I’ll post my Sunday cartoon for this weekend soon. Have a great weekend, unless you’re reading this after the day that I’m publishing it, in which case I hope you have a nice weekend next time one rolls around.

Ciao for now, Jazz Pickles.