Vroom Bite Myth Drugs Death Poop

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Logo Lust.



All week long I’ve been fielding questions from readers about this NASCAR cartoon. It’s simple, really: Drivers get paid to wear logos and if this guy was taller, he’d have room for more and make more money. By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what NASCAR stands for: Non-Articulate Snazzy-Car Appalachian Racecardriver.





Each winter (here in the U.S.) I do a handful of snowman gags and this year is no different. I got a letter from one reader who didn’t understand this one, and claimed nobody in her family could figure it out, either. I’m guessing they don’t have snow or rabbits in their part of the world. The simple answer is that snowpeople have carrot noses and rabbits eat carrots. Poor little snowboy. Fortunately, cosmetic surgery for snowmen is little more than a trip to the produce aisle.




I’ve long been interested in the unflagging drive of the human race toward superstition; everything from fear of the number 13 to belief in a higher power. Our brains are almost biologically hardwired to this kind of thing in that we find it irresistible to assign meaning to every little thing. When something out of the ordinary happens to anyone, anywhere, most people find it more logical to accept that an invisible, all-powerful, eternal force of the universe is behind it rather than simple coincidence.  How we as a society became so frightened of a random number like 13 is a matter for history, I suppose, but it is remarkable. Does anyone know if there are countries where 13 is used for floor numbers in buildings? Is it just the U.S. that has this phobia or are other places similarly affected? (I know I could google this but I’ve got to finish this blog and get back to work on Bizarro deadlines.)

I like pharmacy cartoons because the modern obsession with pharmaceuticals is a fascinating subject. Most of us would rather take a handful of drugs made of god-knows-what from god-knows-where than rely on a good diet and exercise or a natural remedy. I dislike drawing these kinds of cartoons because of all the extra work that goes into the products surrounding the counter, but it is a good chance to toss in some extra background jokes. Click on this cartoon to enlarge it if you can’t see the products here. You might get an extra chuckle. (In the interest of full disclosure, and so you don’t think I’m some sort of health snob, I’ve been on antidepressants for years and will be for the rest of my life. I’ve tried many times to find non-pharmaceutical answers to my depression but have failed.)


My good friend and cartoonist colleague, Dan McConnell sent me an idea of a 2B/not 2B T-shirt so I concocted this scenario to turn it into a cartoon. I like the result and hope some of you do, as well. I was attracted to melodrama, death, and suffering when I was a teen, too, and always thought it was just a normal stage, but perhaps it was the beginnings of my biological depression. (By the way, I’m fine now and am usually quite happy. :o) See?)





My last cartoon this week is an attempt to explain why birds poop on cars. It’s not the most highbrow cartoon I’ve ever drawn but it gave me a smile.


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