Loser Dingbat Sexy Hoax Pop-Tart Museum

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Gay Police Raids.

It’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon but that has nothing to do with me so I’m not going to get into it right now.

Instead, let’s talk about this week in Bizarro cartoons. Have you ever met anyone like Jason, who has virtually no chance of holding any kind of meaningful position in the world? If not, just go to one of your high school reunions and you’ll meet quite a few. As for me, my high school was full of independent-thinking, creative types and all of them (like myself) are scattered around the planet and too wrapped up in their own lives to organize reunions with any kind of regularity. Or, perhaps they just don’t invite me. Hmmm.

This next cartoon brings to mind one of the things I said when I addressed the 2013 midterm graduating class of the University of Tulsa recently. Nothing will open and inform your mind like travel to foreign countries. U. S. State Department statistics show that a shockingly low number of Americans ever leave the country for places other than Mexican or Caribbean resorts, and that is not the kind of travel I’m talking about. As Mark Twain famously said, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” Okay, Jazz Pickles, get out your passport and get out of your bubble.






My next cartoon this week has no grand philosophical theme. Sorry. Sometimes I just draw something because I think it is funny.










Here’s a follow-up to the recent end of the world at the hands of some Maya pranksters from about 5000 years ago. FYI: If the world should ever actually be in danger of ending and you’re not ready to go, head to Oklahoma. Things take ten or more years to reach there.





I got more than a few emails from people who did not understand this comic. It is a humorous variation of a famous scene from Coppola’s movie, “Apocalypse Now,” in which the character played by Robert Duvall squats casually among the burning wreckage of a Vietnamese village and says, “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”







My last cartoon of the week was a favorite of a few readers who wrote, although they didn’t say why. Maybe they work at or for a children’s museum. Or, maybe they are tricycle enthusiasts. Or, perhaps they were just happy to be able to spot one of my “secret symbols” without any effort.


I hope you have enjoyed at least one of my graphic humor offerings this week. Don’t forget that you can get Bizarro daily on your iPhone for a full year by going here and paying less than it costs to buy a box of Pop-Tarts.