Spoiled Elf Pizza Quadruped Roadway

By Jeremy Meltingtallow


Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Hangover.

I know that nobody is interested in Xmas anymore but I’ve been remiss in posting on this blog for the past week so I’m getting you caught up on what I’ve been up to in the cartoon wonderland in which I live.

If you’re like me (not a millionaire who buys cars for people on holidays) you’re likely very tired of the car commercials that encourage you to buy automobiles as gifts. If I saw a new Mercedes with a giant bow on it in the driveway of one of my neighbors on Xmas morning, I might take hostages. Or, at the very least, throw a couple of gift-wrapped bricks through the windows.


My original caption for this cartoon about Santa’s elves was not very funny and had an unfortunate reference to elves not getting the chance to grow up. Because of the pre-Xmas school shooting in Connecticut, my editors and I decided it was insensitive to publish it so my special lady friend and I came up with this new caption. I’m not against Barbie dolls per se, but am somewhat sympathetic to the concept that these dolls give little girls impossible (and impossibly shallow) standards of womanhood. In spite of the fact that I am condoning that notion with this cartoon, I got an angry email from a woman who felt I had been naughty:

“I find your cartoon of December 26 2012 very offensive, in a time when many young girls have body image issues which lead to both bouts of suicidal thoughts along with suicidal actions, I feel that this cartoon was done in poor taste. “

Can’t win them all.



This next cartoon has nothing to do with the holidays––thank god––but is instead about the infernal frustration one feels when trapped in the same house with someone for too many years. My prescription for long, exciting love affairs with minimum friction is separate residences. Works wonders.









Hey! Look at this crazy dancer!



What the…?





My good friend and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, concocted this view of a highway sign. I scheduled it for this week because it seems like a good time of the year to examine one’s existence.  As usual, he has some interesting things to say about this effort here.

That concludes today’s posting. Please check out my next post, which will have the last Sunday Bizarro Comic of 2012 PLUS my year in review!