Surviving Magic Alien Harry

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

(To see the above celebrities in all their TMZ glory, click on Snooki’s butt.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Freak Shows.

I admit I’ve never seen any of the “Survivor” TV shows. I’m not a big fan of that sort of reality game-show stuff, but I get the gist. It was therefore simple (and a LOT of fun) to imagine one in which my favorite celebrities to despise are left on an island to fight it out amongst them selves and never be heard from again. Simon Cowell is one I missed. Can’t stand that guy. I didn’t want to mess with caricatures, but if you click on the image and blow it up, you should be able to spot Paris, Bruce Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Richard Simmons, Donald Trump, and Snooki. The others are just cast members of Jersey Shore or lesser Kardashians.

This shrink gag is a strange one. For some reason, I thought the idea of a therapist having a hoop to check for wires if his patient began to levitate, the way a stage magician would, is funny. I hope you got a smile from it.

My next offering is another collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. If you’re old enough to remember when “crop circles” were a new thing and tons of people all over the world believed they were being made by extraterrestrials, this joke will make perfect sense. If not, check out this article. It was a hoot when it was happening and is my favorite prank in the history of human mischief.

And, humans being the mystical, superstitious creatures we are, I’m sure there are still people who believe these were made by spaceships. If you are one of these people, good luck to you. I sincerely hope you’re right; this planet could use some new entertainment. Here’s what Wayno says about it.

Apparently this was a week for strange and vague comics. This one has no obvious or hidden meaning. It’s just funny to me that a guy is covered with hair everywhere but where he wants it, ends up in the hospital, and the doctors are amused. I don’t know, it just made me smile. There is an actual medical condition where people grow hair all over their faces––they were the people often known as “Dog-Faced/Ape Man/Boy” in circus sideshows of the past. I’m not making fun of them nor would I laugh at them. I’m sure it’s a major drag. This guy is different and completely made up, so put away your complaint pen.

If you don’t have this book, that can be remedied right here.