Egyptian Super Balls

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you by Spelling Bees.

I like cartoons about hieroglyphics and have done them before. Here’s one of my faves. This one came from my buddy, Cliff, who is a master of word play. He has a unique way of thinking about language that always really tickles me.





In our next panel we see a man getting ready for a massage with a jackhammer. Oh my, that could kill him. But wait, no it can’t, because he’s Superman. Whew!

Honestly though, if Superman’s body can repel bullets, would there be any way to give him a massage? Would a jackhammer even work? Maybe he would need a hydraulic hammer more like this one. Acupuncture would be completely out of the question, of course.


My final panel today is a collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. On his articulate and well-bred blog, he comments on the changes I made to his original sketch but the one thing he didn’t mention was that I put underwear on the athlete. The mere thought of this guy’s spheroid genitals made me draw as fast as I could to cover them.

One thing I’ve always found funny about college and pro sports is that the coach is often the size and shape of the guy on the bench here. This is particularly true in American football. These men were presumably once in great shape but in their current role (and rolls) they certainly aren’t great spokespersons for exercise. Of course, most of the players on the line are giant and obese as early as college football. The only reason they can run at all is that they are young. It is sometimes painful to watch them exert themselves at that size and I’m amazed that more of them do not experience heart explosions.

I would like you to have this book. A portion of all proceeds goes to food and rent.