Wife Glutton Web Call

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

(To see this cartoon in [a bit more but not] all of its glory, click any cocktail.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Alcohol.

This is a pretty strange comic, I admit. The back story is that one of the cliches in the cartoon canon is the premise showing a guy in a bar telling someone his wife doesn’t understand him. I’ve used this motif before here and here and probably a few other times, too. In this case, I had three gags in my sketchbook based on the same cliche and decided to use them all in one cartoon. Why the last guy has a piece of toast shoved in his mouth is anyone’s guess. I welcome your suggestions.

It’s no secret that Americans are getting fatter by the second. As I type this sentence, over 151 million American citizens are fatter than they were when I began it. There are three reasons for this: We eat crap, we eat too much of it, we don’t have to chase it down ourselves. I went to an all-you-can-eat buffet in my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma a few years ago and was shocked not only by the size of the patrons (shown at left) but also the size of the buffet. The restaurant was roughly as big as a Walmart and the buffet took up probably 5000 square feet of space in the middle. The first thought through my mind was, “This is why they hate us.” The restaurant in my cartoon has adopted a safety measure to reduce lawsuits. I recommend all such restaurants do the same.

This cartoon is self explanatory. I haven’t much to say about it except that if we keep going in our current direction, there will come a time when a person can live their entire life without ever having personal contact with another human being. I enjoy technology and the Intertubes as much as anyone, but I have to admit that I don’t see the attraction in following Twitter and Facebook all day long. When it comes right down to it, I just don’t care that much about where my friends, acquaintances, and celebrities are at this very moment or what they are thinking. I’m a curmudgeon, I know.

This last cartoon is also a part of the cartoon cliche cannon, the old “If that’s my wife…” gag. For election season, I’ve changed it to create a hilarious, off-the-cuff, surprising whirlwind of humor. Okay, perhaps I’m overselling it.

I have hopes that you buy one of my books.