Fur Balls and Beaks

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Shameful Moments in American History.

I used to play a lot of tennis so this idea was fun for me. I haven’t played in about ten years now, not because I got too old but because that was when I moved to NYC and I didn’t know anyone there who played. Now I’m in LA and still don’t know anyone who plays tennis but I’m also too busy to fit it into my schedule. Why am I telling you all this? I have no idea. Because this cartoon is about tennis and it reminded me that I used to like to play, I guess. Is this a boring post? I have also had several cats in my day.

I’ve never had a parrot but I was sorely tempted once many years ago because I find them so fascinating. But, like the responsible, compassionate person I am, before I bought a parrot I decided to read up on them. I found out how they are captured, the amount of attention they need because of their complex psyche, the average length of their lives, and I decided very quickly that it was not a good idea. I imagined letting it have the run of my house because I think keeping a bird in a cage is like keeping a dachshund in an aquarium full of water and never letting it trot around the yard. But it is so much better to leave them in the wild where they belong so I gave up on the idea. So when my buddy, Foye, said something about a “ventriloquist parrot,” the first thing I imagined it might say was the caption above.

It always thrills me to see wild parrot populations in American cities, where they are not indigenous. I know that introducing new species to an area can cause trouble, but in their case I put that aside and revel in the fact that they beat the system. They escaped their captors and started their own community. Yay, parrots! I can’t speak for them, but I know that I’d rather live a few days as a free man and starve to death or be eaten by a cat than live for years in a cage.

I’m happy to report there is a good-sized flock of parrots that live in my neighborhood in LA now. I can hear them squawking in the trees out front and it is music to my ears.

I have some books. Here’s one now.

I have a FrontOfYourHeadBook page.