Corpse Lineup Crackpot Signage

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by a Terrible Mime.

Good day, Jazz Pickles. There have been countless cartoons done about mimes but I’m very proud of this one because it seems to me to be a new angle and we cartoonists love coming up with a new angle on a common cartoon cliche.  It also has the added benefit of being one of those cartoons that you don’t get immediately until you look closely. I love that kind of humor and my Jazz Pickles tell me they do, too.

Let me know if you enjoy having to figure out a joke or if you prefer the kind that are self explanatory in an instant and the drawing doesn’t really matter. I do plenty of those kinds of gags, too, of course.

Waldo is another character that is used a lot in cartoons, though not as often as mimes, in spite of his striped shirt. I’ve done a few Waldo gags myself, here is my favorite from the late 1900s.

In this one, he is some kind of perp. We don’t know what kind exactly, as he is only described as an “assailant,” so I’ll leave that to your imagination. Maybe he only stole the old lady’s red and white stocking cap.

Next up today we drop into the conversation of a young therapy patient who is evidently obsessed with water slides. Surely that can’t be the only reason she sees a shrink, though. Again, I’ll leave it to your own fertile imaginations.

When I was a kid, all we had were Slip’n’Slides. Which, if you’re too young to know, was a long strip of plastic you laid down in your yard (hopefully on a hill) with a garden hose hooked to the top. You ran as fast as you could, flung yourself onto it and slid. It was a lot like a birth canal in that when you landed on the ground at the end of it, you frequently needed the wind knocked back into you.

Our final cartoon today is about the way many elderly people drive. Not ALL elderly people, of course. My own parents are in their 70s and I’m certain they drive as well as they ever did. The fact that my mother sits on a stack of phone books to see over the steering wheel has hardly affected her abilities at all.  In fact, my father teaches a defensive driving course so he takes great pride in not being a road hazard. Good for you, Dad! (Although he does incessantly point out the faults and mistakes of every other driver on the road so a trip to the store with him is like a defensive driving course all by itself.) Love you, Dad!

Don’t sit on phone books, sit on Bizarro books!