Tweeting Feet Drag Parrot

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Crack Repair.

When I was a kid, I always watched the Olympics and dreamed of one day competing in them. I’ve always been a pretty good athlete and was the fastest runner of anyone I knew, so I figured if I just kept practicing, someday I’d have a gold medal. Life isn’t that simple, of course, and as I got older, I became distracted by other endeavors that I found more satisfying like art, music, theater, girls, beer. I doubt I’ll even have time this year to watch much of the Olympics but so be it. The synchronized tweeting event is kind of dull anyway.

In this next cartoon, I think I made the wine stains on the tablecloth a little too dark. It looks like blood. I didn’t mean to imply that he actually injured his date with his footsie competitiveness, I just wanted it to look like she fell over and spilled her wine. In spite of the letters I will likely get from MAKG (Mothers Against Kicking Girls), I still think this is a funny gag.


Here’s a little joke that came from my known associate, Wayno. His submission was so well resolved that I didn’t change a thing about it, just drew it in my style with a heavy nod to Charles Addams’ style. Here’s what he has to say about it on his blog.






And finally, we come to the odd parrot. If it makes you feel just a little sad to see a dog in a cage, think how your pet bird feels and consider setting him free. If I were a parakeet, I’d rather have a few days of flying around a neighborhood trying to figure out what the hell happened and looking for things to eat, than years sitting in a cage wondering what my wings are for. But that’s just my opinion.


My latest book of Bizarro cartoons is here.

My FrontOfYourHeadBookPage is here.