Mattress Fine Boss Penguin Pirate

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Courageous Eyebrows.

Man (woman and undecided), it’s been a busy week at Bizarro International Headquarters. So much going on that I can barely keep up. Last weekend I was at the San Diego Comic Con, which if you like 10 square miles of unnavigable crowds of nerds and wackos is where you ought to be. It’s gotten so out of hand that it’s beginning to make Burning Man look like a Republican convention.

Some interesting things in the show-biz world are surfacing for me and I’m happy about that. I’d tell you all about it but my manager is as superstitious as a World Series pitcher and won’t let me talk about anything until the ink is dry, the money is delivered, the project is finished, my career is over, and I’m on my deathbed. Most things in Hollywood never materialize so there are no guarantees, but even if one of my projects does, I’ll be keeping my day job (Bizarro) so not much will change except that my blogs might get more interesting. Which, in some people’s opinion, would not be hard.

Meanwhile, here are some more cartoons to look at. These are best viewed with human eyes on a computer or other such device that receives the Internet. If you are viewing them on your microwave oven with a couple of golf balls, you likely won’t get as much out of them.

Detailed descriptions of each:

1. I like memory foam mattresses. Someday I hope to be able to afford one. This idea came from Victor, the boy genius.

2. I hate traffic fines even when they are not doubled. I got a parking ticket just today because of that street cleaning nonsense that some big cities have. I wish they would use some of the money they collect from parking tickets to actually clean the streets.

3. Bruce Springsteen is a famous rock ‘n’ roll guy who looks a little like this cartoon. My known associate, Wayno, had this idea and speaks of it here.

4. Penguins are funny.

5. Pirates are always missing things like hands, legs, eyeballs. I’m guessing they were among the most clumsy of all historical criminal subcultures.

Be my “friend” here.

Buy my book here.

Enjoy a beer here.