Juvenile Juice Java

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Not Very Smart Car.

I’ve been a bad vegan today. I am sitting outside on my patio by the pool (I don’t have a pool, but I can tell by the sounds I hear that there is one just on the other side of the giant hedge that separates my tiny back yard from the house’s behind me) answering emails and writing this blog. A small housefly kept landing on my arm and bugging the crap out of me (which is what they do and where the verb “bug” came from) and I got fed up and smacked him. Okay, I smacked at him about 30 times before I finally connected, but the end result is the same: now it’s dead. Bad vegan. Bad!

Another verb of interest today is “concentrate.” If you’re a school teacher, you could use this orange juice cartoon as a lesson about nouns and verbs. Kids like cartoons better the sound of teacher’s voices so why not give it a try? As long as you’re not making a profit from this use, I can allow it free of charge!

This final cartoon about Mr. Coffee doesn’t actually make any sense, so don’t bother writing to me and asking what it means. It means what it looks like it means. Not much. But it is an amusing picture so just be satisfied with that for now. Perhaps a deeper meaning will occur to you after several cups of coffee, or later in life after some kind of major life-changing experience. How do I know? I’m just a cartoonist.

As a personal thanks to you, my precious readers, I would like to offer you a chance to own this limited edition Bizarro cartoon book. It is “limited” because they will only print them as long as people keep buying them. Once they don’t see any reasonable progress in sales, they’ll take it out of print. Voila! Limited edition.