Cat Blood Sandwich

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Pride.

In a couple hours I’m off on my mini comedy tour of northern California and Portland, Oregon. I hope it goes well, I hope I see some of you Jazz Pickles at the shows, I hope I find a bag of untraceable money that no one will ever know I have. That would be the perfect trip.

When I say “mini comedy tour,” I mean that the tour is mini, not the comedy. The comedy is HUGE. It barely fits in my checked luggage, in fact.

Someone asked me recently why those toothpicks with the celophane feathers are in sandwiches. This first cartoon is the image that resulted.

This political campaign cartoon seems just right as lots of candidates are on the road kissing babies these days. If Mitt Romney kisses your kid and then it comes down with a cold, feel free to sue him. I’ve heard he has a lot of money. This cartoon came from my known associate, Wayno. Here are some words that he put together to describe our collaboration.

If you’re lucky enough to have type O blood, you can use this pun next time you’re at the doctor or donating to a vampire food bank. O negative blood type is sometimes called “universal donor” because doctors working in Area 51 back in the 1950s used it to save that alien they captured from that crashed UFO. I can’t say for sure that that is true, but I bet it is.

Gotta pack now. I’ll try to blog in the coming days, but if I don’t, please don’t hate me. I live for the approval of strangers.