Nightmare Depression Restroom Tornado

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

(To see this cartoon all big like an elephant, click on the cable connector on the back of the TV)

Bizarro is brought to you by Nightmares.

We’ve all felt sorry for a small chair as an extremely heavy person sits on it, and that empathy for inanimate objects was what led me to muse about things common household furniture might fear or dread. Of course, I know that inanimate objects are not sentient and have no feelings but by “chair,” I mean “child,” and who hasn’t felt sorry for a child being sat upon by a large adult? Perhaps my sensitivity in this area comes from personal experience; my parents were very poor when my siblings and I were young and could not afford furniture, so they sat on us.. They couldn’t afford children, either, but until they figured out where we were coming from, they just kept having them. It was painful at times, yes, but it also brought us closer together as a family.

I’ve also experienced a lot of personal angst and sadness when viewing beer commercials. Nothing in my life has ever been as much fun as most people in beer commercials seem to be having on a moment-to-moment basis. Am I not good looking enough? Did I go to the wrong college? Am I living in the wrong part of the country? Where is this beer-related fun being had and how can I crowbar my way into it? Of course, part of it may be the brand of beer I’m drinking. Most of the really great times on beer commercials seem to happen to people drinking weak, diet, American, mass-produced beer like Coors Light. So the question is, am I willing to drink watered-down dog pee to have that much fun? I guess I just answered my own question.

The term “co-ed” is antiquated and offensive when used to describe a female college student. It’s been decades since women were allowed into most men-only universities so it’s something of a dying term, but here the ridiculousness takes the sting out of the sexism. At least that was my plan. If you’re still offended, by all means write a very angry, incoherent letter to me about it. I use those in my comedy shows.



This cartoon incorporates the simplest of puns but it’s not one I’ve seen before and the picture makes it work, I think. I haven’t been to a Wendy’s in probably 15 years (here’s one reason why) but I remembered enough about the way their products look to fill the air with delectable tidbits of menu items. I always enjoy drawing crazy action scenes like this. One of my favorites was a tornado cartoon I did as seen from above, inside the tornado. If my filing system made any damn sense at all, I’d look that up right now and link to it.

You can get it on some cool products.

You can get it in books.

You can get it if he can.