Tempting Dance Chuck Undies

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Weight Problems.

It’s been a busy week here at Bizarro International Headquarters. So much so that I barely got a chance to post on this blog today. In fact, I’m pressed for time right now, so let’s get to it.

1. Cinn-a-bon is a small restaurant chain I see a lot in shopping malls and airport food courts. A while back my manager, Jeff Topper, and I were kibitzing on the phone and came up with this idea together. I particularly like the devil asking if he can “hurt” the customer instead of help. A reader mentioned that the customer should have said the buns were “tempting.” Also a good caption but I like mine better.

2. According to TV and film, lawyers are always making “motions” in court. This kind of motion would make court funnier. I’ve not spent much time in court but I’m willing to bet there isn’t a lot of funny going on there.






3. Ever heard of a woodchuck? If you haven’t then this joke probably was not your favorite cartoon ever. According to what I looked up on the Interwebs, a woodchuck is an animal of some kind that looks sort of like these guys. I have no idea what a “wouldn’tchuck” would actually look like, but I’m surmising it would be very similar. I collaborated with my young hillbilly friend, Victor Rivera, on this one. He wants to be an actor so if he’s ever a big movie star, remember that he used to do cartoons with me. He’ll likely deny it.

4. Here’s a really creepy gag about an information booth.


That’s wraps it up for today, Jazz Pickles. If you live in or around Washington, D.C., please do not forget to go to my comedy show on March 11, nor to remind your friends in that area to go. I guarantee that the people who attend will laugh and feel better when they leave than they did when they arrived. Unless they are stabbed or poisoned while they are there, or drink so much that they get sick or have a heart attack during the show or one of those giant, frozen chunks of sewage from an airliner falls through the roof and injures them. I’ve done these shows before, though, and none of those things usually happen, so my original statement will likely be true for everyone.

You want some cartoons on stuff?

You want some cartoons in a book?

You want candy?