Text Bird Drugs

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Slow Children.

When I was a kid I had a friend who had one of those “Slow Children Playing” signs in front of her house. We used to tease her that she and her sister must be “slow”. Clearly, this is a sign that could use some punctuation to avoid this kind of cruelty.

I provide my client newspapers with two versions of each of my Bizarro cartoons –– a panel and a strip –– so that they can use whichever fits best in their layout. In this post, I’ve included the strip version as well because I like the extra kid wandering around in the street while she texts. I think it adds to the joke. Now we need signs to warn us of drivers who are texting.

This Elmer Fudd cartoon got a few responses from readers who thought it was particularly fun. Hope you did, too. The drawing and coloring are a hybrid between my usual look and the classic Warner Brother’s look. I’m not sure where Elmer was when he ran into the Twitter logo bird, but I envy him. How great would it be to come across a giant, fat, blue bird whose head is larger than its entire body? The correct answer is “pretty great.”


On 60 Minutes last week, I’m told there was a story about placebos. (This cartoon was submitted four weeks ago, so it was not an inspiration.) Supposedly, the gist of the story was that studies have shown that with certain kinds of medications, placebos work as well or better than the real drug. Pharm companies are upset about this, of course. One of the drugs they mentioned were antidepressants, which I take, as do an estimated 130% of all Americans. I’d be willing to try the placebo version to see if it works as well, but the problem is that once you know it is a placebo, the effect is negated. If you know my pharmacist, would you mind asking her to switch my drugs for placebos next time without telling me?

Stay crunchy and kosher, Jazz Pickles.

You want cartoons on products.

You want cartoons in books.

You want placebos.