Big Nose Doggy Love

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Frightened Humans.

The first few days of 2012 have got me thinking about new year’s resolutions. I’m not one to make resolutions and have not done so in decades. I figure if there is something about my life that needs changing, I just do it at a time that seems right instead of waiting until it’s time to open the new calendar. But clearly, this year calls for a different attitude. This year calls for some resolute action on my part. So I have but one resolution: to defeat the ancient Mayans and make it to 2013. Take THAT, spooky dead Indians.

This “Tournament of Noses Parade” cartoon was a pain in the ass to draw. I draw all of my cartoons as both vertical “panels” and horizontal “strips,” because it gives my client newspapers more options. I don’t usually post the strips on this blog, but in this case I am so that you can see the Adrian Brody float that follows Babs.

If you’re reading this blog from a part of the world that is not generally familiar with the “Tournament of Roses Parade,” you don’t yet fully get the joke. The aforementioned parade is a huge event on New Year’s Day each year in Pasadena, California (a suburb of Los Angeles.) The unbelievably elaborate sculptures that putt down the street are made entirely out of flowers. Even the stuff that looks like it couldn’t possibly be made from flowers is made from flowers. (Or leaves, or bark, or some kind of plant.) How they do this, I don’t know and don’t want to. It would ruin all of the magic, like finding out how pictures fly through the air and end up on TV. Here are some examples of actual floats from the parade. 1. Insulting Indian Stereotype float 2.Hallucinogens Can Be Fun float 3.Our Country Is The Best Because We Happened To Be Born Here float.

Some of you are thinking that yours truly might well qualify as a subject for this “noses” parade and you’d be right EXCEPT that I am not a big enough celebrity to be made of flowers. Maybe next year.

This doggy joke about Facebook friends features a cameo appearance by one of my favorite Angelinos (residents of Los Angeles), Roscoe, the French bulldog who lives with my good friend, Adam Paul. Roscoe was good enough to pose for me when I drew this cartoon.  He’s a bit of a ham that way.

If you’d like to see another, even cuter picture of Roscoe, just let the part of your eyes with a hole in it drop down a couple of inches on this page. I suspect you will be delighted.

The best news is that I get to babysit Roscoe this weekend while his daddy goes to Las Vegas to rub up against his girlfriend. To be honest, I have no idea what Adam does when he goes to Las Vegas to see his girlfriend, but rubbing up against her seems likely.

“Buy Dan’s cartoon books!” says Roscoe, “So he can continue to live indoors!”