January 1st, 2012
by Wayno & Piraro
This is my final post of 2011, and I sincerely wish for a better year to come. My 2011 was fairly wretched in many important ways as my beloved CHNW and I split up. I’m happy to be in Southern California now (here are 70 reasons why) but miss my wife terribly. Not your problem or concern, of course, but I like to keep a personal perspective on my blog. Hope you don’t mind the sentimentality.
But let us not dwell on the negative. Here is my year-end list of GOOD things that happened in 2011:
Neither of my daughters, Krapuzar and Krelspeth, were arrested for shoplifting.
I was not detained indefinitely without counsel by my own government, though apparently they actually have that right. Is this still America? Fox News says yes, NPR says no.
When a thoughtless jackass ran a stop sign and totaled my classic motorcycle in August, neither my wife nor I were killed or maimed for life.
My parents did not die in a warehouse fire and are still healthy and happy.
I did not lose any limbs to attack dogs or wild animals.
I did not send any money to the widow of a Kenyan millionaire.
Not once did I find myself in the presence of Rick Perry or any cast member of Jersey Shore.
Though I spent more than a month of 2011 in Los Angeles, my teeth are still the color of actual human teeth and I do not have breast implants.
Though I spent more than 10 months in New York City, I was not pushed in front of an oncoming subway train.
Newt Gingrich’s head did not get stuck in my bathroom window.
I did not have a role in the next Academy Award-winning movie, only to be cut out of the final version.
I was not locked in a room and forced to listen to hip-hop.
I am not suffering from erectile dysfunction, though it now looks as though it will be a good long time before anyone other than myself cares at all.
I hope your year was as full of silver linings as mine was. Let’s all just take a few moments right now to be thankful for the horrible things that did not happen to us. (silence, please)
I sincerely look forward to a better 2012 for all of us Earthlings.
One last THANKS to Wayno for his guest cartoonist appearance this week. It helped me to free up some much-needed time to make my way across the country. Visit his blog early and often for dynamic prose about our collaborations and much much more!
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