Evolving Diet Hand-Me-Down

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Christmas Confusion.

I keep promising myself (and you, dear Jazz Pickles) that I will post more often on this blogging machine but then I don’t get around to it. Part of the problem is that I keep looking for ways to get out of the house because I’m living alone for the first time in ten years and I get pretty blue and lonely if I don’t get out. Today I rode my bicycle 5.6 miles (according to the Google Map) to a branch of my bank to deposit a few dozen dollars worth of checks. It was mostly an excuse to get out in the sun and exercise, so an 11.2 mile ride was just the thing.

My first cartoon today is on one of my favorite subjects: the evolution/creationism debate. The fact that the U.S. is the only literate country where this is even still considered a debate is part of what intrigues me about it. If there weren’t so many Americans who still adamantly held to the creation myth of the Bible, I wouldn’t care, of course. As proof of this large, anachronistic portion of our society, every time I do a gag like this someone writes to me to complain about it. Thank goodness! (Not god, sorry.) Here, for your Xmas/Hanukkah enjoyment, are the exact words:

I don’t know why you choose to use this time of year to offend many Christians.

Your strip is funny and thought-provoking enough without resorting to such tactics.

The email itself is not all that funny, other than the fact that a person in the 21st century who does not live in a cave or a jungle still finds references to evolution as truth and creationism as myth offensive. And is that even what this cartoon is saying? I think not.

I admit that I do enjoy poking fun at (living) people (in the 21st century) who accept myth as truth but I think that in this modern era, if you’re going to hold disproved, archaic beliefs you should be willing to take a little ribbing. If, in 2012, I believed that there was a giant, magical being inside the local volcano that made it erupt if I didn’t throw the right virgin into it, I would expect quite a bit of kidding. (And probably a fair amount of legal attention for kidnapping and murdering virgins.) It’s just the price of civilization, folks.  Here’s a link (pun intended) to another of my cartoons on the same subject that I particularly liked. Missing Link.

Moving on to another subject but not out of the jungle, here is a cartoon that presents an entirely new reason for trying to convince someone of the benefits of veganism. I admit that when I first changed my diet and lifestyle, I did a fair amount of evangelizing. It’s hard not to when you discover a new truth, you know? But I now leave that to others and only offer my views and knowledge when asked. Which is occasionally. (If you care, here is an old page full of typos and lousy grammar that explains my thought process back in ’02, when I gave up animal products.)

My “air guitar” cartoon was conceived of by my good friend’s son, Nicco, who is only about 8 or 11 or something. (I’m terrible at remembering other people’s kids details. Does that make me a narcissist? Probably.) Anyway, I thought it was a fun cartoon idea so here it is. Thanks, Nicco! Nicco’s older brother, Emilio, contributed a cartoon to Bizarro once, too. The kids in this family are pretty sharp, I guess.

Please have a dandy holiday, if you’re into that sort of thing. And remember that it is not too late to get the perfect gift right here. It’s probably too late to get it delivered by Xmas, but it’s not too late to get it.