Mariana Uterus

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by DEVO.

A big “howdy do, my tangy little Bizarro Jazz Pickle” goes out today to Nathan G.D.  You may notice his name at the bottom left corner of this cartoon. Nathan wrote to me some weeks back with a suggestion for a cartoon about a “Mariana swimming pool” with a depth of more than 35,000 feet at the deep end. He was referring to the Mariana Trench, the deepest point in the Pacific Ocean and lowest place on Earth, of course. I replied that I thought it was an interesting idea and wanted to use it. The next day I got an email from Nathan’s father, explaining that Nathan is only 7 years old. I was blown away. His cartoon idea didn’t read like a 7-year-old, nor did he write like one in his email. I was very impressed and happily used the cartoon with dad’s permission. Congrats, Nathan; you are officially the youngest contributor to Bizarro. And congrats on your recent 8th birthday!

This cartoon was written by a full-growed adult. Not all of us can be as clever as Nathan at such a young age. I’m a big fan of the fetal position and have spent many an hour at my therapist’s office adopting one. By that, I mean that I climb into a sack of fluid and roll up into a ball. When the session is over, my shrink pulls me out by my head and smacks me on the butt to get me breathing again. It’s an amazing experience. You might even call it a miracle.

Speaking of the “miracle of birth” ––if birth is a miracle, then rats perform miracles about 60 times more frequently than humans. Just a little tidbit for you BJPs with a taste for trivia.

Buy a very funny cartoon book for all the rats on your holiday list at a very good price here.