Pro Tree Field

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by ghosts.

Thanks to all you readers who left comments about the 9/11 comics project. I’m encouraged to hear that I was not the only one disenchanted by the commercialized sentimentality of last week. It’s been ten years, let’s move on. One nice way to start would be by putting Bush and Cheney in jail where they belong*, but let’s not get overly optimistic.

This football cartoon is one of those that might leave some people behind, especially those who did not pay attention in school. If you were among those who didn’t get it, notice the names of the players on the backs of the jerseys and recall that they are a part of speech called PROnouns. Voila.

If you don’t understand this next cartoon, you’ve likely never heard of bonsai trees. This gaping hole in your education is not my fault. If you’re reading this post you’ve got access to the Interwebs, so look it up on Wikipedia or something.

If you know what bonsai trees are but are not familiar with redwoods, see the last sentence of the previous paragraph.

Come to think of it, I wonder if there is such a thing as a bonsai redwood. Hmmm. I’ll see you at Wikipedia.

In the upper right corner of the tree cartoon, you might notice the birthday message to my youngest daughter, Krelspeth. She was 24 on Tuesday. Seems like just yesterday she was 23. They grow so fast.

To keep with the theme of today’s post, if you don’t get this “required field” gag, you’ve never filled out a form on the Interwebs. You likely won’t find this expression on Wikipedia, so go to a commercial site and buy something. Might I suggest my Cafepress site where you can get just about any of your favorite Bizarro cartoons on wads and wads of dandy objects you will be proud to own?

Hey, remember last week when I was blogging about all of the bad luck my family has been having? ( Wife hit by taxi, father-in-law hospitalized for two months, mother-in-law had cancer surgery, earthquake, hurricane, motorcycle wreck.) Well, a couple of nights ago CHNW and I were at home watching TV and heard this sequence of sounds coming from the street in front of our building: honk! screech! thump! crash! footsteps, shouting, footsteps, footsteps, shouting. A glance out the window revealed that a bicyclist had been hit by a car. He was unconscious until after the ambulance arrived but woke up and seemed to be moving all of his limbs on his own, so I guess he wasn’t dead or paralyzed. I mention this because I’m working on a new theory about all of these recent tragedies and incidences of bad luck in my proximity. I think my building is haunted. That would explain all of this misfortune and also why our cats sometimes stare at things we can’t see.


*Not because of their role in 9/11 but because of their use of the tragedy to lie their way into a personal war that achieved nothing other than to kill over 100,000 people, advance the causes of Islamic terrorism, destroy U.S. credibility worldwide, and make personal fortunes for themselves. Not to mention throwing the country into the worst economic crisis in nearly a century. Sorry for getting political but Cheney’s recent book needs a public response from all of us.